Time...Fear...and all that Jazz

Wow, can't begin to understand what has happened to the year. Seems like it was just yesterday when we were celebrating the new year and had all these resolutions that I was going to put into place. IT is basically almost 10 months later and am embarassed to say that I have still not got a solid gym programme, I have still not found something else to study, I have still not...well list would be to long so am stopping right here.

This year has not been particular easy for me, have had to grow and realise that sometimes life doesn't quite work out like you plan. People are not always what they seem to be and regardless of how much you love someone, sometimes love is not always enough to keep the two of you together. I have come out of all of this stronger and determined to still find that special someone you think irregardless of what life has thrown my way.

This year I also lost a very good friend in a car accident. We had the most amazing lunch one Sunday (whole group of us) and by the Wednesday she was no longer. I still have moments of questioning God, I still have moments of not understanding why it is always the good ones, the ones that you think you are going to grow old and grey with that are taken from you, I still have moments where it all seems unreal. Sibongile you left this place on the 6th August and it still hurts not to have you hear to ask all the difficult questions. We no longer have that person in a group who will ask us why we don't speak to the person we have issues with directly. My friend you have left a huge gap in this game we call friendship but I know that as long as we are all breathing you will always be near. Lala ngoxolo mgani wami. You are now with the angels where you belong.

This blog ends here...no energy to write any more and perhaps my next blog will be sooner rather than later where I will write about this new fear that is starting to overshadow me. It is hard to fall after a broken heart, it is hard to trust after a broken heart but I know that I will prevail. Bobo I can hear you saying "But Gal what makes you think he would not like you, you are beautiful and intelligent...aah but gal just tell him how you feel, maybe he feels that way to...what is the worst that could happen" Bobo, I am gathering my strength and will conquer. Wish you were here to share in this crazy moment